Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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