What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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