Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
