somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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