he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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