Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
