Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
