normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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