I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
