apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
