im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
