I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
