If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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