i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
