none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
