I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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