She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
