Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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