Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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