He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
