I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
