Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Found the puke drawer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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