I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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