My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
