I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize