what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
