Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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