I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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