Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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