Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
