try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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