I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
