I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
