people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
