It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my being single is dangerous.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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