is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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