friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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