the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
