did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
