Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
