Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
