my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
