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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  um, yeah. i think it is.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Mom wtf!?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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• (979): View more from Texas

  A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.

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• (916): View more from California

  Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."

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