Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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