I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
