i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
