I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I could have mohawked her pubes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
