In the future we'll all be gay
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
