what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
