Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(352): View more from Florida

Billy Mays is dead too!

(1-352): View more from Florida

Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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(310): View more from California

I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too

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(312): View more from Illinois

Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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(703): View more from Virginia

So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)

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(541): View more from Oregon

Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.

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(248): View more from Michigan

He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.

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