I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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